Subtitles
I love the story of a conversation at an 00:00:00
I love the story of a conversation at an 00:00:03
I love the story of a conversation at an English country house at a dinner party 00:00:03
English country house at a dinner party 00:00:06
English country house at a dinner party where the hostess started up the 00:00:06
where the hostess started up the 00:00:08
where the hostess started up the question of death and asked the various 00:00:08
question of death and asked the various 00:00:11
question of death and asked the various guests what they thought was going to 00:00:11
guests what they thought was going to 00:00:12
guests what they thought was going to happen to them when they died and some 00:00:12
happen to them when they died and some 00:00:16
happen to them when they died and some thought about reincarnation and others 00:00:16
thought about reincarnation and others 00:00:18
thought about reincarnation and others thought about various kinds of different 00:00:18
thought about various kinds of different 00:00:24
thought about various kinds of different planes of being and others thought they 00:00:24
planes of being and others thought they 00:00:26
planes of being and others thought they were going to be annihilated but all and 00:00:26
were going to be annihilated but all and 00:00:29
were going to be annihilated but all and none of the guests had answered except 00:00:29
none of the guests had answered except 00:00:31
none of the guests had answered except Sir Roderick who was a kind of a 00:00:31
Sir Roderick who was a kind of a 00:00:34
Sir Roderick who was a kind of a military-type but a very devout pillar 00:00:34
military-type but a very devout pillar 00:00:39
military-type but a very devout pillar of the Church of England he was the 00:00:39
of the Church of England he was the 00:00:42
of the Church of England he was the church warden chief of the vestry in the 00:00:42
church warden chief of the vestry in the 00:00:46
church warden chief of the vestry in the local country parish and the lady said 00:00:46
local country parish and the lady said 00:00:50
local country parish and the lady said sir Roderick you haven't said a word 00:00:50
sir Roderick you haven't said a word 00:00:51
sir Roderick you haven't said a word what do you think's going to happen to 00:00:51
what do you think's going to happen to 00:00:53
what do you think's going to happen to you when you die oh you said I'm 00:00:53
you when you die oh you said I'm 00:00:56
you when you die oh you said I'm perfectly certain I shall go to heaven 00:00:56
perfectly certain I shall go to heaven 00:00:58
perfectly certain I shall go to heaven and enjoy everlasting bliss but I wish 00:00:58
and enjoy everlasting bliss but I wish 00:01:01
and enjoy everlasting bliss but I wish you wouldn't indulge in such a 00:01:01
you wouldn't indulge in such a 00:01:02
you wouldn't indulge in such a depressing conversation 00:01:02
it's true isn't it death in the Western 00:01:12
it's true isn't it death in the Western 00:01:20
it's true isn't it death in the Western world is a real problem 00:01:20
world is a real problem 00:01:24
world is a real problem we hush it up we pretend it hasn't 00:01:24
we hush it up we pretend it hasn't 00:01:28
we hush it up we pretend it hasn't happened 00:01:28
happened 00:01:29
happened our morticians who are very smart 00:01:29
our morticians who are very smart 00:01:33
our morticians who are very smart commercial operators and know exactly 00:01:33
commercial operators and know exactly 00:01:36
commercial operators and know exactly what's expected of them and they make 00:01:36
what's expected of them and they make 00:01:43
what's expected of them and they make death just awful by pretending it 00:01:43
death just awful by pretending it 00:01:46
death just awful by pretending it doesn't happen see what happened you go 00:01:46
doesn't happen see what happened you go 00:01:51
doesn't happen see what happened you go to a hospital and you're at the end 00:01:51
to a hospital and you're at the end 00:01:54
to a hospital and you're at the end you've got terminal cancer and all your 00:01:54
you've got terminal cancer and all your 00:02:00
you've got terminal cancer and all your friends come around and they wear false 00:02:00
friends come around and they wear false 00:02:02
friends come around and they wear false smiles and they say cheer up you'll be 00:02:02
smiles and they say cheer up you'll be 00:02:05
smiles and they say cheer up you'll be all right 00:02:05
in a few days from now you'll be back 00:02:08
in a few days from now you'll be back 00:02:11
in a few days from now you'll be back home and we'll we'll go out for a picnic 00:02:11
home and we'll we'll go out for a picnic 00:02:13
home and we'll we'll go out for a picnic again the doctors have their bedside 00:02:13
again the doctors have their bedside 00:02:18
again the doctors have their bedside manner is he a doctor is absolutely 00:02:18
manner is he a doctor is absolutely 00:02:19
manner is he a doctor is absolutely helpless with a terminal case because he 00:02:19
helpless with a terminal case because he 00:02:22
helpless with a terminal case because he said doctors have divided the social 00:02:22
said doctors have divided the social 00:02:24
said doctors have divided the social definition of healer and he's not 00:02:24
definition of healer and he's not 00:02:26
definition of healer and he's not allowed to help you die he's out of role 00:02:26
allowed to help you die he's out of role 00:02:28
allowed to help you die he's out of role even though I mean he may sneak behind 00:02:28
even though I mean he may sneak behind 00:02:30
even though I mean he may sneak behind the rules and do it but but he's very 00:02:30
the rules and do it but but he's very 00:02:32
the rules and do it but but he's very definitely he got a healing you so 00:02:32
definitely he got a healing you so 00:02:34
definitely he got a healing you so you're gonna keep you indefinitely on 00:02:34
you're gonna keep you indefinitely on 00:02:36
you're gonna keep you indefinitely on the end of tubes and all kinds of things 00:02:36
the end of tubes and all kinds of things 00:02:37
the end of tubes and all kinds of things while there's a certain grave demeanor 00:02:37
while there's a certain grave demeanor 00:02:41
while there's a certain grave demeanor to all this and all the nurses are so 00:02:41
to all this and all the nurses are so 00:02:42
to all this and all the nurses are so pleasant and so totally distant because 00:02:42
pleasant and so totally distant because 00:02:45
pleasant and so totally distant because they know this is death and they might 00:02:45
they know this is death and they might 00:02:48
they know this is death and they might be frank with you that's why they feel 00:02:48
be frank with you that's why they feel 00:02:49
be frank with you that's why they feel distant it's not that they're not 00:02:49
distant it's not that they're not 00:02:51
distant it's not that they're not concerned it's not that they're 00:02:51
concerned it's not that they're 00:02:53
concerned it's not that they're heartless people but that they just 00:02:53
heartless people but that they just 00:02:56
heartless people but that they just don't know how to be frank like lots of 00:02:56
don't know how to be frank like lots of 00:02:57
don't know how to be frank like lots of people when they meet a drunk they don't 00:02:58
people when they meet a drunk they don't 00:02:59
people when they meet a drunk they don't know what to do with a drunk because 00:02:59
know what to do with a drunk because 00:03:02
know what to do with a drunk because he's not doing he's not behaving or not 00:03:02
he's not doing he's not behaving or not 00:03:05
he's not doing he's not behaving or not behaving right so 00:03:05
when you're dying you're not behaving 00:03:09
when you're dying you're not behaving 00:03:11
when you're dying you're not behaving right you're supposed to live see so we 00:03:11
right you're supposed to live see so we 00:03:14
right you're supposed to live see so we don't know what to do with a dying 00:03:14
don't know what to do with a dying 00:03:16
don't know what to do with a dying person we don't get around that person 00:03:16
person we don't get around that person 00:03:18
person we don't get around that person say listen now listen man listen I got 00:03:18
say listen now listen man listen I got 00:03:20
say listen now listen man listen I got the news for you you're gonna die and 00:03:20
the news for you you're gonna die and 00:03:24
the news for you you're gonna die and this is gonna be great 00:03:24
look no more responsibilities then I 00:03:28
look no more responsibilities then I 00:03:32
look no more responsibilities then I have to pay those bills in him don't 00:03:32
have to pay those bills in him don't 00:03:36
have to pay those bills in him don't worry about anything you're gonna just 00:03:36
worry about anything you're gonna just 00:03:39
worry about anything you're gonna just die and let's go out with a band let's 00:03:39
die and let's go out with a band let's 00:03:44
die and let's go out with a band let's have a party see we'll put some awesome 00:03:44
have a party see we'll put some awesome 00:03:47
have a party see we'll put some awesome now that morphine in you is search you 00:03:47
now that morphine in you is search you 00:03:48
now that morphine in you is search you wanna hurt too much but we were gonna 00:03:48
wanna hurt too much but we were gonna 00:03:50
wanna hurt too much but we were gonna prop you up in bed and we're gonna bring 00:03:50
prop you up in bed and we're gonna bring 00:03:52
prop you up in bed and we're gonna bring all our friends around and we're gonna 00:03:52
all our friends around and we're gonna 00:03:53
all our friends around and we're gonna have champagne and I got it you're gonna 00:03:53
have champagne and I got it you're gonna 00:03:57
have champagne and I got it you're gonna die at the end of it see and it's gonna 00:03:57
die at the end of it see and it's gonna 00:04:01
die at the end of it see and it's gonna be just marvelous just like being born I 00:04:01
be just marvelous just like being born I 00:04:04
be just marvelous just like being born I see baby when we had birth problems see 00:04:04
see baby when we had birth problems see 00:04:06
see baby when we had birth problems see all women used to think that birth had 00:04:06
all women used to think that birth had 00:04:09
all women used to think that birth had to be painful it was good for them 00:04:09
to be painful it was good for them 00:04:10
to be painful it was good for them there's one of the things you had to 00:04:10
there's one of the things you had to 00:04:12
there's one of the things you had to suffer because you've been you'd been 00:04:12
suffer because you've been you'd been 00:04:14
suffer because you've been you'd been screwing around with people in there for 00:04:14
screwing around with people in there for 00:04:15
screwing around with people in there for you if you have a child and it's gotta 00:04:15
you if you have a child and it's gotta 00:04:18
you if you have a child and it's gotta hurt 00:04:18
hurt 00:04:18
hurt and then the doctors got together and 00:04:18
and then the doctors got together and 00:04:21
and then the doctors got together and they scratch their heads and the man 00:04:21
they scratch their heads and the man 00:04:23
they scratch their heads and the man called grantly dick-read said no both 00:04:23
called grantly dick-read said no both 00:04:25
called grantly dick-read said no both doesn't hurt it's natural all we've got 00:04:25
doesn't hurt it's natural all we've got 00:04:30
doesn't hurt it's natural all we've got to do is to talk these women into the 00:04:30
to do is to talk these women into the 00:04:31
to do is to talk these women into the idea that it doesn't hurt that all these 00:04:31
idea that it doesn't hurt that all these 00:04:33
idea that it doesn't hurt that all these so-called pains are just tensions and 00:04:33
so-called pains are just tensions and 00:04:35
so-called pains are just tensions and that birth is great it's not a disease 00:04:35
that birth is great it's not a disease 00:04:38
that birth is great it's not a disease it's not really something you ought to 00:04:38
it's not really something you ought to 00:04:40
it's not really something you ought to go to a hospital for because you 00:04:40
go to a hospital for because you 00:04:43
go to a hospital for because you associate hospitals with diseases and 00:04:43
associate hospitals with diseases and 00:04:45
associate hospitals with diseases and signets earth isn't sickness all right 00:04:45
signets earth isn't sickness all right 00:04:49
signets earth isn't sickness all right now let's do some new thinking what 00:04:49
now let's do some new thinking what 00:04:51
now let's do some new thinking what about death is death sickness or is it a 00:04:51
about death is death sickness or is it a 00:04:53
about death is death sickness or is it a healthy natural event like being gone 00:04:53
healthy natural event like being gone 00:04:55
healthy natural event like being gone because it is so I mean a little change 00:04:55
because it is so I mean a little change 00:04:59
because it is so I mean a little change in social attitude about this will 00:04:59
in social attitude about this will 00:05:01
in social attitude about this will fortify everybody else I mean if I'm if 00:05:01
fortify everybody else I mean if I'm if 00:05:04
fortify everybody else I mean if I'm if I'm alone and all my relatives are 00:05:04
I'm alone and all my relatives are 00:05:08
I'm alone and all my relatives are pretending to me is gonna be hard for me 00:05:08
pretending to me is gonna be hard for me 00:05:11
pretending to me is gonna be hard for me I've got to challenge the whole bunch of 00:05:11
I've got to challenge the whole bunch of 00:05:13
I've got to challenge the whole bunch of them and get my dander up and say listen 00:05:13
them and get my dander up and say listen 00:05:14
them and get my dander up and say listen damn you I don't want all this thing 00:05:14
damn you I don't want all this thing 00:05:16
damn you I don't want all this thing around here you've got to take a 00:05:16
around here you've got to take a 00:05:19
around here you've got to take a different attitude about my death well 00:05:19
different attitude about my death well 00:05:20
different attitude about my death well that's hard 00:05:20
that's hard 00:05:22
that's hard but if everybody helps me and we do 00:05:22
but if everybody helps me and we do 00:05:23
but if everybody helps me and we do we're all one body they all come around 00:05:23
we're all one body they all come around 00:05:26
we're all one body they all come around and say congratulations are going to die 00:05:26
liberation liberation now you see 00:05:32
liberation liberation now you see 00:05:35
liberation liberation now you see because just before you die I mean look 00:05:35
because just before you die I mean look 00:05:38
because just before you die I mean look I know very well a skillful priest 00:05:38
I know very well a skillful priest 00:05:40
I know very well a skillful priest handling a person dying can do this for 00:05:40
handling a person dying can do this for 00:05:43
handling a person dying can do this for them but he has to talk very very very 00:05:43
them but he has to talk very very very 00:05:47
them but he has to talk very very very straight and he has to say listen these 00:05:47
straight and he has to say listen these 00:05:51
straight and he has to say listen these doctors you don't don't you pay any 00:05:51
doctors you don't don't you pay any 00:05:52
doctors you don't don't you pay any attention to them they're trying to 00:05:52
attention to them they're trying to 00:05:54
attention to them they're trying to amuse you and deceive you you're gonna 00:05:54
amuse you and deceive you you're gonna 00:05:56
amuse you and deceive you you're gonna die 00:05:56
die 00:05:58
die this isn't terrible but it's just gonna 00:05:58
this isn't terrible but it's just gonna 00:06:02
this isn't terrible but it's just gonna be the end of you as a system of 00:06:02
be the end of you as a system of 00:06:05
be the end of you as a system of memories and so you've got a great 00:06:05
memories and so you've got a great 00:06:09
memories and so you've got a great chance right now before it happens to 00:06:09
chance right now before it happens to 00:06:11
chance right now before it happens to let go of everything because you know 00:06:11
let go of everything because you know 00:06:14
let go of everything because you know it's gonna go and it is gonna help you 00:06:14
it's gonna go and it is gonna help you 00:06:16
it's gonna go and it is gonna help you it's gonna help you let go of everything 00:06:16
it's gonna help you let go of everything 00:06:18
it's gonna help you let go of everything so if you have any possessions left give 00:06:18
so if you have any possessions left give 00:06:21
so if you have any possessions left give them away give everything away and if 00:06:21
them away give everything away and if 00:06:27
them away give everything away and if you have anything to say that is you 00:06:27
you have anything to say that is you 00:06:29
you have anything to say that is you felt that you ought to say before you 00:06:29
felt that you ought to say before you 00:06:30
felt that you ought to say before you die and that you're kind of hanging on 00:06:30
die and that you're kind of hanging on 00:06:32
die and that you're kind of hanging on to and it's bothering you say it I mean 00:06:32
to and it's bothering you say it I mean 00:06:35
to and it's bothering you say it I mean I don't mean necessarily a last 00:06:35
I don't mean necessarily a last 00:06:37
I don't mean necessarily a last confession 00:06:37
confession 00:06:37
confession but say it said that Adelaide Stevenson 00:06:37
but say it said that Adelaide Stevenson 00:06:39
but say it said that Adelaide Stevenson shortly before he died said that he'd 00:06:39
shortly before he died said that he'd 00:06:42
shortly before he died said that he'd been making a monkey of himself because 00:06:42
been making a monkey of himself because 00:06:44
been making a monkey of himself because he didn't agree with the government's 00:06:44
he didn't agree with the government's 00:06:45
he didn't agree with the government's policy about something or other you know 00:06:45
policy about something or other you know 00:06:47
policy about something or other you know he had to get that off his chest because 00:06:47
he had to get that off his chest because 00:06:48
he had to get that off his chest because he had a little thought in the back of 00:06:48
he had a little thought in the back of 00:06:49
he had a little thought in the back of his mind that things were catching up 00:06:49
his mind that things were catching up 00:06:51
his mind that things were catching up with him you see so the moment comes 00:06:51
with him you see so the moment comes 00:06:54
with him you see so the moment comes when this thing called death has to be 00:06:54
when this thing called death has to be 00:06:57
when this thing called death has to be taken completely not as some ghastly 00:06:57
taken completely not as some ghastly 00:07:01
taken completely not as some ghastly accident something that doe all the 00:07:01
accident something that doe all the 00:07:05
accident something that doe all the friends are going to stay away because 00:07:05
friends are going to stay away because 00:07:06
friends are going to stay away because you're awful 00:07:06
you're awful 00:07:07
you're awful I mean sometimes people when they die 00:07:07
I mean sometimes people when they die 00:07:10
I mean sometimes people when they die are in a very unpleasant physical 00:07:10
are in a very unpleasant physical 00:07:12
are in a very unpleasant physical condition they don't smell good they 00:07:12
condition they don't smell good they 00:07:13
condition they don't smell good they don't look good and so on but an 00:07:13
don't look good and so on but an 00:07:16
don't look good and so on but an enormous amount can be done with 00:07:16
enormous amount can be done with 00:07:18
enormous amount can be done with scientific methods to make things 00:07:18
scientific methods to make things 00:07:22
scientific methods to make things reasonably tidy from a purely sensory 00:07:22
reasonably tidy from a purely sensory 00:07:26
reasonably tidy from a purely sensory point of view but the main thing is the 00:07:26
point of view but the main thing is the 00:07:30
point of view but the main thing is the attitude 00:07:30
attitude 00:07:32
attitude that death is as positive as birth and 00:07:32
that death is as positive as birth and 00:07:38
that death is as positive as birth and should be a matter for rejoicing because 00:07:38
should be a matter for rejoicing because 00:07:42
should be a matter for rejoicing because death is the symbol of the liberation 00:07:42
death is the symbol of the liberation 00:07:47
death is the symbol of the liberation there is a wonderful saying that under 00:07:47
there is a wonderful saying that under 00:07:50
there is a wonderful saying that under Kumaraswamy used to quote I pray that 00:07:50
Kumaraswamy used to quote I pray that 00:07:53
Kumaraswamy used to quote I pray that death will not come and find me still on 00:07:53
death will not come and find me still on 00:07:56
death will not come and find me still on annihilate in other words that man dies 00:07:56
annihilate in other words that man dies 00:08:01
annihilate in other words that man dies happy if there is no one to die not 00:08:01
happy if there is no one to die not 00:08:05
happy if there is no one to die not words if the ego has disappeared before 00:08:05
words if the ego has disappeared before 00:08:07
words if the ego has disappeared before death caught up with it but you see the 00:08:07
death caught up with it but you see the 00:08:13
death caught up with it but you see the knowledge of death helps the ego to 00:08:13
knowledge of death helps the ego to 00:08:16
knowledge of death helps the ego to disappear because it tells you you can't 00:08:16
disappear because it tells you you can't 00:08:20
disappear because it tells you you can't hang on so what we need if we're going 00:08:20
hang on so what we need if we're going 00:08:26
hang on so what we need if we're going to have a good religion around that's 00:08:26
to have a good religion around that's 00:08:29
to have a good religion around that's one of the places where it can start 00:08:29
one of the places where it can start 00:08:31
one of the places where it can start having I don't know well nowadays I 00:08:31
having I don't know well nowadays I 00:08:35
having I don't know well nowadays I suppose they'd call it the institution 00:08:35
suppose they'd call it the institution 00:08:36
suppose they'd call it the institution for creative dying about something like 00:08:36
for creative dying about something like 00:08:44
for creative dying about something like that and you can have you can have one 00:08:44
that and you can have you can have one 00:08:51
that and you can have you can have one department where you can have champagne 00:08:51
department where you can have champagne 00:08:53
department where you can have champagne cocktail party to die with another 00:08:53
cocktail party to die with another 00:08:56
cocktail party to die with another department where you can have glorious 00:08:56
department where you can have glorious 00:08:57
department where you can have glorious religious rituals and priests and things 00:08:57
religious rituals and priests and things 00:09:00
religious rituals and priests and things like that another department where you 00:09:00
like that another department where you 00:09:02
like that another department where you can have psychedelic drugs another 00:09:02
can have psychedelic drugs another 00:09:05
can have psychedelic drugs another department where you can have special 00:09:05
department where you can have special 00:09:08
department where you can have special kinds of music anything you know or all 00:09:08
kinds of music anything you know or all 00:09:12
kinds of music anything you know or all these arrangements will be provided for 00:09:12
these arrangements will be provided for 00:09:14
these arrangements will be provided for in a hospital for delightful dying but 00:09:14
in a hospital for delightful dying but 00:09:21
in a hospital for delightful dying but that's the thing to go out with a bang 00:09:21
that's the thing to go out with a bang 00:09:23
that's the thing to go out with a bang instead of a whimper 00:09:23
and out of your mind now continues with 00:09:32
and out of your mind now continues with 00:09:34
and out of your mind now continues with the next lecture from the world as 00:09:34
the next lecture from the world as 00:09:37
the next lecture from the world as emptiness lecture series 00:09:37