Subtitles

now I presume that most of you have had 00:00:01

now I presume that most of you have had 00:00:06

now I presume that most of you have had personal experience of this at some time 00:00:06

personal experience of this at some time 00:00:09

personal experience of this at some time in your lives it's always puzzling to 00:00:09

in your lives it's always puzzling to 00:00:17

in your lives it's always puzzling to children whenever out start on this kick 00:00:17

children whenever out start on this kick 00:00:19

children whenever out start on this kick I know in the Anglican Church they have 00:00:19

I know in the Anglican Church they have 00:00:28

I know in the Anglican Church they have everybody you know says a general 00:00:28

everybody you know says a general 00:00:31

everybody you know says a general confession that the services and 00:00:31

confession that the services and 00:00:32

confession that the services and children can never understand it they 00:00:32

children can never understand it they 00:00:35

children can never understand it they don't know what all these terrible 00:00:35

don't know what all these terrible 00:00:36

don't know what all these terrible things that they're supposed to have 00:00:36

things that they're supposed to have 00:00:37

things that they're supposed to have done are to say almighty and most 00:00:37

done are to say almighty and most 00:00:40

done are to say almighty and most merciful Father we have erred and 00:00:40

merciful Father we have erred and 00:00:42

merciful Father we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep 00:00:42

strayed from thy ways like lost sheep 00:00:44

strayed from thy ways like lost sheep we have followed too much the devices 00:00:44

we have followed too much the devices 00:00:46

we have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts we have 00:00:46

and desires of our own hearts we have 00:00:48

and desires of our own hearts we have offended against thy holy laws we have 00:00:48

offended against thy holy laws we have 00:00:52

offended against thy holy laws we have done those things which we ought not to 00:00:52

done those things which we ought not to 00:00:53

done those things which we ought not to have done and we have left undone those 00:00:53

have done and we have left undone those 00:00:55

have done and we have left undone those things which we also have done and there 00:00:55

things which we also have done and there 00:00:57

things which we also have done and there is no health in us the children think 00:00:57

is no health in us the children think 00:01:01

is no health in us the children think that's once the most amazing thing to 00:01:01

that's once the most amazing thing to 00:01:03

that's once the most amazing thing to say all right 00:01:03

say all right 00:01:06

say all right that awful one they have it the Holy 00:01:06

that awful one they have it the Holy 00:01:09

that awful one they have it the Holy Communion talking about our sins the 00:01:09

Communion talking about our sins the 00:01:15

Communion talking about our sins the remembrance of them is Grievous unto us 00:01:15

remembrance of them is Grievous unto us 00:01:18

remembrance of them is Grievous unto us the burden of them is intolerable and 00:01:18

the burden of them is intolerable and 00:01:21

the burden of them is intolerable and then of course it's in the Catholic 00:01:21

then of course it's in the Catholic 00:01:24

then of course it's in the Catholic Church it's simpler 00:01:24

Church it's simpler 00:01:25

Church it's simpler well they say I confess to God Almighty 00:01:25

well they say I confess to God Almighty 00:01:28

well they say I confess to God Almighty and all the various Saints that I've 00:01:28

and all the various Saints that I've 00:01:30

and all the various Saints that I've sinned exceedingly in thought word and 00:01:30

sinned exceedingly in thought word and 00:01:31

sinned exceedingly in thought word and deed by my fault by my own fault by my 00:01:31

deed by my fault by my own fault by my 00:01:33

deed by my fault by my own fault by my own most grievous fault in Latin Mia 00:01:33

own most grievous fault in Latin Mia 00:01:36

own most grievous fault in Latin Mia culpa Mia culpa mea Maxima culpa the 00:01:36

culpa Mia culpa mea Maxima culpa the 00:01:40

culpa Mia culpa mea Maxima culpa the story is told of an altar boy who didn't 00:01:40

story is told of an altar boy who didn't 00:01:44

story is told of an altar boy who didn't understand laughing always you say me a 00:01:44

understand laughing always you say me a 00:01:45

understand laughing always you say me a cowboy me a cowboy me a Mexican cowboy 00:01:45

00:01:55

but you see first of all there is a 00:01:55

but you see first of all there is a 00:02:02

but you see first of all there is a wonderful security in admitting that 00:02:02

wonderful security in admitting that 00:02:06

wonderful security in admitting that you're wrong then you're sure to be 00:02:06

you're wrong then you're sure to be 00:02:12

you're wrong then you're sure to be right see if you know you're wrong and 00:02:12

right see if you know you're wrong and 00:02:19

right see if you know you're wrong and make a great point of it and if you're 00:02:19

make a great point of it and if you're 00:02:23

make a great point of it and if you're suffering and paying a punishment you 00:02:23

suffering and paying a punishment you 00:02:27

suffering and paying a punishment you see for being wrong then you know it's 00:02:27

see for being wrong then you know it's 00:02:30

see for being wrong then you know it's okay 00:02:30

okay 00:02:31

okay oh I bless the good Lord for my boils 00:02:31

oh I bless the good Lord for my boils 00:02:36

oh I bless the good Lord for my boils for my mental and bodily pains for 00:02:36

for my mental and bodily pains for 00:02:40

for my mental and bodily pains for without them my faith all congeals and 00:02:40

without them my faith all congeals and 00:02:42

without them my faith all congeals and I'm doomed the hell's near ending flames 00:02:42

I'm doomed the hell's near ending flames 00:02:45

I'm doomed the hell's near ending flames Z so the way of the Cross is interpreted 00:02:45

Z so the way of the Cross is interpreted 00:02:50

Z so the way of the Cross is interpreted by many people as this way of life lived 00:02:50

by many people as this way of life lived 00:02:54

by many people as this way of life lived in chronic frustration and I've read 00:02:54

in chronic frustration and I've read 00:03:01

in chronic frustration and I've read many manuals on this the spiritual 00:03:01

many manuals on this the spiritual 00:03:03

many manuals on this the spiritual advice for example they say when you get 00:03:03

advice for example they say when you get 00:03:06

advice for example they say when you get a headache 00:03:06

a headache 00:03:06

a headache don't take aspirin live the pain through 00:03:06

don't take aspirin live the pain through 00:03:10

don't take aspirin live the pain through and offer it to the Lord in union with 00:03:10

and offer it to the Lord in union with 00:03:13

and offer it to the Lord in union with the sacrifice of Christ on the cross 00:03:13

00:03:19

always arrange your life in such a way 00:03:19

always arrange your life in such a way 00:03:22

always arrange your life in such a way that it will be a little difficult 00:03:22

that it will be a little difficult 00:03:24

that it will be a little difficult that's why some people wear a hair shirt 00:03:24

that's why some people wear a hair shirt 00:03:27

that's why some people wear a hair shirt they are always uncomfortable they 00:03:27

they are always uncomfortable they 00:03:29

they are always uncomfortable they always itch and the this this thing that 00:03:29

always itch and the this this thing that 00:03:35

always itch and the this this thing that they do it to keep them going I mean 00:03:35

they do it to keep them going I mean 00:03:37

they do it to keep them going I mean this keeps you alive you know you're 00:03:37

this keeps you alive you know you're 00:03:39

this keeps you alive you know you're there I was in Mexico last August 00:03:39

there I was in Mexico last August 00:03:42

there I was in Mexico last August studying this because I wanted to go 00:03:42

studying this because I wanted to go 00:03:44

studying this because I wanted to go down there and find out why their form 00:03:44

down there and find out why their form 00:03:49

down there and find out why their form of care Catholicism is so agonizing and 00:03:49

of care Catholicism is so agonizing and 00:03:53

of care Catholicism is so agonizing and I even meditated a long time on this in 00:03:53

I even meditated a long time on this in 00:03:58

I even meditated a long time on this in the cathedral at Oaxaca and 00:03:58

00:04:02

here was the main altar no not the main 00:04:02

here was the main altar no not the main 00:04:06

here was the main altar no not the main altar their Chapel whether sacrament is 00:04:06

altar their Chapel whether sacrament is 00:04:09

altar their Chapel whether sacrament is reserved the central figure behind the 00:04:09

reserved the central figure behind the 00:04:11

reserved the central figure behind the altar is a huge crucifix of Christ 00:04:11

altar is a huge crucifix of Christ 00:04:16

altar is a huge crucifix of Christ covered in blood and wounds the sores 00:04:16

covered in blood and wounds the sores 00:04:20

covered in blood and wounds the sores are all muddled you know and then on 00:04:20

are all muddled you know and then on 00:04:23

are all muddled you know and then on either side of the walls facing this 00:04:23

either side of the walls facing this 00:04:25

either side of the walls facing this through great paintings one of Christ 00:04:25

through great paintings one of Christ 00:04:28

through great paintings one of Christ carrying the cross and being mocked and 00:04:28

carrying the cross and being mocked and 00:04:30

carrying the cross and being mocked and scourged and the other of the agony in 00:04:30

scourged and the other of the agony in 00:04:34

scourged and the other of the agony in the Garden of Gethsemane and all around 00:04:34

the Garden of Gethsemane and all around 00:04:36

the Garden of Gethsemane and all around in the scores where they sell bond years 00:04:36

in the scores where they sell bond years 00:04:39

in the scores where they sell bond years early in the neighborhood of the 00:04:39

early in the neighborhood of the 00:04:40

early in the neighborhood of the Cathedral you could buy these agonized 00:04:40

Cathedral you could buy these agonized 00:04:43

Cathedral you could buy these agonized faces of Christ with the crown of thorns 00:04:43

faces of Christ with the crown of thorns 00:04:45

faces of Christ with the crown of thorns and every thorn individually sticking in 00:04:45

and every thorn individually sticking in 00:04:47

and every thorn individually sticking in a little triples of blood the face is 00:04:47

a little triples of blood the face is 00:04:50

a little triples of blood the face is kind of green and ghastly and the people 00:04:50

kind of green and ghastly and the people 00:04:54

kind of green and ghastly and the people thickness they love it they all go 00:04:54

thickness they love it they all go 00:04:57

thickness they love it they all go walking into the Shrine of Our Lady of 00:04:57

walking into the Shrine of Our Lady of 00:05:00

walking into the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe for go for a whole mile on 00:05:00

Guadalupe for go for a whole mile on 00:05:02

Guadalupe for go for a whole mile on their knees you'll see young girls doing 00:05:02

their knees you'll see young girls doing 00:05:04

their knees you'll see young girls doing this no what is this about 00:05:04

00:05:11

well you see some people don't really 00:05:11

well you see some people don't really 00:05:15

well you see some people don't really feel they exist until they are sitting 00:05:15

feel they exist until they are sitting 00:05:17

feel they exist until they are sitting on the point of a thorn let me put it 00:05:17

on the point of a thorn let me put it 00:05:20

on the point of a thorn let me put it that way 00:05:20

that way 00:05:22

that way laia to reality is a measure of pain see 00:05:22

laia to reality is a measure of pain see 00:05:28

laia to reality is a measure of pain see pain in this way of looking at things is 00:05:28

pain in this way of looking at things is 00:05:31

pain in this way of looking at things is the most real thing that there is 00:05:31

the most real thing that there is 00:05:34

the most real thing that there is pleasure the pleasures of this world 00:05:34

pleasure the pleasures of this world 00:05:36

pleasure the pleasures of this world escape would disappear and pass away 00:05:36

escape would disappear and pass away 00:05:38

escape would disappear and pass away there's nothing to cling to so don't go 00:05:38

there's nothing to cling to so don't go 00:05:41

there's nothing to cling to so don't go after pleasure my dear friends that's 00:05:41

after pleasure my dear friends that's 00:05:44

after pleasure my dear friends that's awful that's a deceit because the real 00:05:44

awful that's a deceit because the real 00:05:46

awful that's a deceit because the real thing in life is pain and so what you do 00:05:46

thing in life is pain and so what you do 00:05:49

thing in life is pain and so what you do is you train yourself from childhood to 00:05:49

is you train yourself from childhood to 00:05:52

is you train yourself from childhood to deal with pain we were brought up in a 00:05:52

deal with pain we were brought up in a 00:05:56

deal with pain we were brought up in a school system where it was simply 00:05:56

school system where it was simply 00:05:58

school system where it was simply axiomatic that suffering builds 00:05:58

axiomatic that suffering builds 00:06:00

axiomatic that suffering builds character 00:06:00

character 00:06:00

character so therefore anytime you inflicted pain 00:06:00

so therefore anytime you inflicted pain 00:06:03

so therefore anytime you inflicted pain in on anybody you were perfectly 00:06:03

in on anybody you were perfectly 00:06:05

in on anybody you were perfectly justified in your own conscience because 00:06:05

justified in your own conscience because 00:06:07

justified in your own conscience because you were doing him a favor 00:06:07

you were doing him a favor 00:06:08

you were doing him a favor you were building his character for him 00:06:08

you were building his character for him 00:06:11

you were building his character for him doing good it it out on her head and 00:06:11

doing good it it out on her head and 00:06:14

doing good it it out on her head and house 00:06:14

house 00:06:15

house vanity and and so this is based on this 00:06:15

vanity and and so this is based on this 00:06:28

vanity and and so this is based on this philosophy of pain is reality is the 00:06:28

philosophy of pain is reality is the 00:06:35

philosophy of pain is reality is the ultimate penitential philosophy of going 00:06:35

ultimate penitential philosophy of going 00:06:39

ultimate penitential philosophy of going down down down into the most awful I am 00:06:39

down down down into the most awful I am 00:06:44

down down down into the most awful I am wrong see I'm a mistake I am responsible 00:06:44

wrong see I'm a mistake I am responsible 00:06:50

wrong see I'm a mistake I am responsible for this mistake therefore I ought to 00:06:51

for this mistake therefore I ought to 00:06:53

for this mistake therefore I ought to suffer and I go right into that state of 00:06:53

suffer and I go right into that state of 00:06:56

suffer and I go right into that state of mind and if I've got guts encourage I'll 00:06:56

mind and if I've got guts encourage I'll 00:07:03

mind and if I've got guts encourage I'll go as far into it as possible and what 00:07:03

go as far into it as possible and what 00:07:07

go as far into it as possible and what will I find out at the end 00:07:07

00:07:18

now if you go far enough the trouble is 00:07:18

now if you go far enough the trouble is 00:07:23

now if you go far enough the trouble is a lot of people don't and they stay 00:07:23

a lot of people don't and they stay 00:07:26

a lot of people don't and they stay around mineral Mandolin about their sins 00:07:26

around mineral Mandolin about their sins 00:07:29

around mineral Mandolin about their sins and all that was our sort of disgusting 00:07:29

and all that was our sort of disgusting 00:07:32

and all that was our sort of disgusting and they never really get down to it 00:07:32

and they never really get down to it 00:07:35

and they never really get down to it they never find out them what I'll call 00:07:35

they never find out them what I'll call 00:07:41

they never find out them what I'll call for the moment the hidden motivation 00:07:41

for the moment the hidden motivation 00:07:43

for the moment the hidden motivation behind all this behind self renunciation 00:07:43

behind all this behind self renunciation 00:07:47

behind all this behind self renunciation behind wallowing in the reality of pain 00:07:47

behind wallowing in the reality of pain 00:07:54

behind wallowing in the reality of pain they don't see that it's phony because 00:07:54

00:08:05

nothing can be more egotistical than 00:08:05

nothing can be more egotistical than 00:08:09

nothing can be more egotistical than true repentance as I pointed out you're 00:08:09

true repentance as I pointed out you're 00:08:14

true repentance as I pointed out you're safe 00:08:14

safe 00:08:15

safe when you're repentant enough therefore 00:08:15

when you're repentant enough therefore 00:08:19

when you're repentant enough therefore you conceal for yourself temporarily 00:08:19

you conceal for yourself temporarily 00:08:24

you conceal for yourself temporarily what an egotist you are but if you 00:08:24

what an egotist you are but if you 00:08:28

what an egotist you are but if you really get down to the bottom of this 00:08:28

really get down to the bottom of this 00:08:30

really get down to the bottom of this thing as some of the Christian saints 00:08:30

thing as some of the Christian saints 00:08:32

thing as some of the Christian saints have done and find out what that 00:08:32

have done and find out what that 00:08:34

have done and find out what that repentance is all about and you suddenly 00:08:34

repentance is all about and you suddenly 00:08:36

repentance is all about and you suddenly see why it's dear old sin all over again 00:08:36

see why it's dear old sin all over again 00:08:41

see why it's dear old sin all over again what I thought was good was as a matter 00:08:41

what I thought was good was as a matter 00:08:44

what I thought was good was as a matter of fact evil it was the same self 00:08:44

of fact evil it was the same self 00:08:46

of fact evil it was the same self seeking in self righteousness and in a 00:08:46

seeking in self righteousness and in a 00:08:48

seeking in self righteousness and in a radical pride and irreducible rascality 00:08:48

radical pride and irreducible rascality 00:08:51

radical pride and irreducible rascality which the Hebrews call the yet Sahara 00:08:51

which the Hebrews call the yet Sahara 00:08:55

which the Hebrews call the yet Sahara which means the evil inclination they 00:08:55

which means the evil inclination they 00:08:59

which means the evil inclination they say that the evil inclination was 00:08:59

say that the evil inclination was 00:09:01

say that the evil inclination was created by the Lord God and probably the 00:09:01

created by the Lord God and probably the 00:09:04

created by the Lord God and probably the Lord God has a yes IRR himself that the 00:09:04

Lord God has a yes IRR himself that the 00:09:09

Lord God has a yes IRR himself that the Lord has his own element of irreducible 00:09:09

Lord has his own element of irreducible 00:09:13

Lord has his own element of irreducible rascality and that is of course what you 00:09:13

rascality and that is of course what you 00:09:16

rascality and that is of course what you might call the dark side the left hand 00:09:16

might call the dark side the left hand 00:09:17

might call the dark side the left hand of God the left hand that doesn't know 00:09:17

of God the left hand that doesn't know 00:09:21

of God the left hand that doesn't know what the right hand do is how does that 00:09:21

what the right hand do is how does that 00:09:26

what the right hand do is how does that mustn't be let out that's the secret 00:09:26

mustn't be let out that's the secret 00:09:28

mustn't be let out that's the secret see if 00:09:28

see if 00:09:30

see if the cosmos is of the fundamental pattern 00:09:30

the cosmos is of the fundamental pattern 00:09:33

the cosmos is of the fundamental pattern of hide-and-seek 00:09:34

of hide-and-seek 00:09:35

of hide-and-seek then when Hyde turns up and it's the 00:09:35

then when Hyde turns up and it's the 00:09:38

then when Hyde turns up and it's the time for hide to happen then darkness 00:09:38

time for hide to happen then darkness 00:09:43

time for hide to happen then darkness has its day hide in the dark but when 00:09:43

has its day hide in the dark but when 00:09:48

has its day hide in the dark but when it's time for seek then life has its day 00:09:48

it's time for seek then life has its day 00:09:51

it's time for seek then life has its day and we find out what was hidden in the 00:09:51

and we find out what was hidden in the 00:09:53

and we find out what was hidden in the dark under the right hand suddenly 00:09:53

dark under the right hand suddenly 00:09:54

dark under the right hand suddenly discovers what the left hand is doing 00:09:54

00:09:58

and first it shocked what that what is 00:09:58

and first it shocked what that what is 00:10:04

and first it shocked what that what is that by the way what is the fundamental 00:10:04

that by the way what is the fundamental 00:10:08

that by the way what is the fundamental problem the thing you really mustn't do 00:10:08

00:10:15

Freud said it for sex but because he 00:10:15

Freud said it for sex but because he 00:10:19

Freud said it for sex but because he said that you see we've recovered from 00:10:19

said that you see we've recovered from 00:10:22

said that you see we've recovered from the epoch BF before Freud and the apoc 00:10:22

the epoch BF before Freud and the apoc 00:10:26

the epoch BF before Freud and the apoc AF are very different sex isn't the 00:10:26

AF are very different sex isn't the 00:10:32

AF are very different sex isn't the taboo maybe it's incest why is incest 00:10:32

taboo maybe it's incest why is incest 00:10:36

taboo maybe it's incest why is incest taboo it's getting kind of close to home 00:10:36

taboo it's getting kind of close to home 00:10:41

taboo it's getting kind of close to home going back to mama 00:10:41

00:10:45

think back about not going back in the 00:10:45

think back about not going back in the 00:10:48

think back about not going back in the ordinary way it's going back as an adult 00:10:48

ordinary way it's going back as an adult 00:10:50

ordinary way it's going back as an adult not as a baby and you mustn't do that 00:10:50

not as a baby and you mustn't do that 00:10:53

not as a baby and you mustn't do that because why because this is simply a 00:10:53

because why because this is simply a 00:10:57

because why because this is simply a biological analog of the great table 00:10:57

biological analog of the great table 00:11:02

biological analog of the great table just to discover who you really are 00:11:02

just to discover who you really are 00:11:06

just to discover who you really are going back to big papa 00:11:06

00:11:11

and that that's all but that's what is 00:11:11

and that that's all but that's what is 00:11:17

and that that's all but that's what is discovered when you discover you are a 00:11:17

discovered when you discover you are a 00:11:19

discovered when you discover you are a phony you see what is a phony a phony is 00:11:19

phony you see what is a phony a phony is 00:11:22

phony you see what is a phony a phony is a mask and the masks used as I've told 00:11:22

a mask and the masks used as I've told 00:11:28

a mask and the masks used as I've told most of you in classical drama were 00:11:28

most of you in classical drama were 00:11:30

most of you in classical drama were megaphones they had mouthpieces so that 00:11:30

megaphones they had mouthpieces so that 00:11:36

megaphones they had mouthpieces so that the voice would be projected in an 00:11:36

the voice would be projected in an 00:11:37

the voice would be projected in an open-air theatre so we get the phone 00:11:37

00:11:42

and the mask was the persona that's the 00:11:42

and the mask was the persona that's the 00:11:45

and the mask was the persona that's the Latin for that through which the sound 00:11:45

Latin for that through which the sound 00:11:48

Latin for that through which the sound passes so the persona is the mask the 00:11:48

passes so the persona is the mask the 00:11:51

passes so the persona is the mask the phony so to discover that you are a 00:11:51

phony so to discover that you are a 00:11:57

phony so to discover that you are a phony through and through and through 00:11:57

phony through and through and through 00:11:59

phony through and through and through is to discover that you're a big act 00:11:59

is to discover that you're a big act 00:12:01

is to discover that you're a big act that you're a game and when you discover 00:12:01

that you're a game and when you discover 00:12:06

that you're a game and when you discover that then you wake up to find out who's 00:12:06

that then you wake up to find out who's 00:12:09

that then you wake up to find out who's the player 00:12:09